Everyone shares the wins. The acceptance letter, the airport selfie, the first snow. Almost nobody posts the other version, so here's mine, and I'm asking the team here to keep me anonymous because my family still finds it hard to talk about.
I'm not writing this to scare you off Germany. For a lot of people it's the best decision of their lives. I'm writing it because I wish one honest person had sat me down before I signed the loan papers.
The first month was a dream
It really was. The town was pretty, the university felt serious, I made a couple of friends in orientation week. I remember calling my mother and saying, "I don't know why people complain, this is amazing."
Then the small things started stacking up
My German was basically zero. I'd told myself I'd "pick it up there." You don't pick it up there, not fast enough for the Bürgeramt clerk who sighs at you, or the part-time jobs that all wanted at least B1. So no job, which meant the money only flowed one direction.
And it was a loan. A big one, with my parents as guarantors. Every month the EMI back home started before I'd even earned a euro. That number sat on my chest. When you're already low, financial fear turns a hard week into a hopeless one.
Months two to four were the worst. The friends from orientation drifted into their own course groups. The days got dark by four in the afternoon. I'd cook alone, study alone, and scroll photos of people who looked like they were thriving. I didn't have a single person there I could call at midnight.
The decision
By spring I was failing modules I'd have walked in India, not because they were hard, but because I'd stopped being okay. I talked to my parents honestly for the first time in months. We decided together that I'd come back. It felt like failure for about six months. It doesn't anymore.
What I'd actually tell my past self
- Learn German before you fly. Even A2 would have changed my daily life and got me a job. This was my single biggest mistake.
- Have a Plan B you're at peace with. Going with no fallback meant every setback felt like the end.
- Think hard before a big loan. Debt turns a tough adjustment into a trap. If the numbers only work in the best case, the plan is fragile.
- Plan your social life like you plan your studies. Loneliness, not academics, is what broke me.
If you've read this and you still want to go, good, go, but go prepared, not just excited. Be honest with yourself on the risk calculator, and talk to someone who's actually lived it before you commit. I didn't, and I wish I had.